1. How can you tell if an Aggie has been using the computer?
There's white-out on the screen.
2. How do you get an A&M graduate off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza
3. Do you know what they print on the bottom of Coke bottles in
College Station?
Open other end
4. Why did the Aggie stare at frozen orange juice can for two hours?
Because it said"concentrate".
5. What's the difference between Elvis and smart Aggie?
Elvis has been sighted
6. Why did the Aggie scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
7. How can you tell if another Aggie has been using the computer?
There's writing on the white-out.
8. Two Longhorns were in a bar drinking a beer. Two Aggies came in and
ordered a round for the house. They started giving high fives and bragging,
"We did it in 57!"
The Longhorns watched this for several minutes and finally one said to the other I
have to know what the deal is about this "57," so I am going over to ask them.
After the Horn inquired about the "57," the Aggies proceeded to tell him that they
were celebrating putting a jig saw puzzle together in only 57 days.
"Is that really good?" asked one of the Longhorns.
"Is it good?" said one of the Aggies. "I guess so; it says on the box from 2 to 5 years."
9. A Longhorn, Baylor Bear, & an Aggie were up for execution by guillotine.
They were told that there was a law that stated if an execution was
unsuccessful, the person would be freed.
The Longhorn went first. The blade was raised and he put his neck in the groove. The
executioner released the blade and it stopped about a quarter of an inch from his neck. The
executioner said, You're one lucky man, and the Longhorn was freed.
The Baylor Bear went second and put his neck in the groove. The executioner released the
blade and it stopped a quarter of an inch from his neck. The executioner said, You're one lucky
son of a gun, and the Baylor Bear was freed. The executioner then turned to the aggie and asked,
do you have any last words. The aggie turned to him and said. You know what, this thing would
work alot better if you took the knot out of that rope.
10. Did you hear A&M is changing their mascot to the opposum?
It plays dead at home and gets killed on the road.
11. Did you hear about the Aggie that won a gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
12. Why was the Aggie fired from his elevator operator job?
He couldn't learn the route.
13. Why did the Aggie make his coffee in the bathtub?
Cause the directions said to boil by the pot.
14. What's a mile long and has two teeth?
A line dance in College Station
15. How do aggie brain cells die?
Alone
16. How many Aggie engineers does it take to program a PC?
When it happens we'll let you know...
17. Why don't aggies eat m&m's?
Because the shell is too hard to peel
18. Did you hear about the Aggie that robbed a bank?
He shot the safe and blew the guard!
19. Did you hear about the aggie who fell off a cliff while smoking a cigarette?
He threw off the wrong butt.
20. Did you hear about the aggies that were riding in the back of a truck that
fell off a bridge.
They drowned, cause they couldn't get the tail gate down.
21. How many Aggies does it take to popcorn?
Seven. One to hold the popper and six to shake the stove.
22. Why can't Texas A&M have a nativity scene for Christmas each year?
Because they can't find three wise men and a virgin.
23. Two Aggies were fishing on the lake when they hit a hot spot and started
catching a lot of fish. Darkness was approaching, and one said to the other
"Too bad we won't be able to find this spot again." The other said "No problem,"
and leaned over the side of the boat to mark an X on the side of the boat.
"X marks the spot," he announced triumphantly. The other aggie said "You fool!
That won't work. How do you know we will get the same boat?"
24. How do you make an Aggie laugh on Monday?
Tell them a joke on Friday.
25. What do you call an Aggie with half a brain?
Gifted!
26. Did you hear about the three Aggies who froze to death?
They went to the drive-in theatre to see "Closed For The Winter."
27. A tragedy befell the Aggie ice skating team --
They drowned in spring training.
28. Do you know why an Aggie always takes a rock and a match to bed ?
He throws the rock at the lightbulb and then he checks with the match, if he hit it.
29. Why do Aggies put their A&M degrees on their dashboard?
So they can park in handicapped spaces.
30. A man walks into a store and says, "I would like a maroon hat, maroon
pants, maroon sweater and white shoes."
The clerk says, "Are you a Aggie fan?"
"Yes," replies the man, "How did you guess? By the color combination?"
"No," answers the clerk, "this is a hardware store."